Drown In My Bloody Love
by Da Wong
Summary: Their love is forbidden. Hikaru lives as a puppet, while Kaoru suffers in hell. Let's just say, Kaoru has come for the kill. With less than a year to live, will Kaoru die alone? or will he bring his brother to hell with him?
1. Peace

Hey!!! Whoo I'm really hyper now! A part of the storyline goes to _demi-kun_! (Luvya for letting me do this!) And this is a songfic too!

**Song**: Kiss Me, Kill Me

**Artist**: MEST

**SOOOOO LET's GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

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_One, two, three  
A tragedy that's built on destiny  
It left you with everything but  
Blood from the knife that I cut your heart out with  
Now relax, close your eyes, what comes next is the surprise_

**HIKA POV**

"I'm gay."

"WHAT?" Mom exploded.

I sighed, this was Kaoru's idea, if I said I was gay, I wouldn't be forced into marriage with this heiress. Right?

Good thing I was the oldest, if Kaoru was doing this, he'd be busted for sure.

I repeated the lie, "I'm gay."

Mother looked like she was going to faint, she clenched together her teeth and spat at me, "Listen Hikaru, this is serious. You are now 21. Old enough to marry. You're lucky I never arranged marriage for you when you were young. I'm letting you get a chance to know her. This Haruhi girl will never do. Ayumi is pretty, smart, rich, and most importantly, she's the daughter of the a fashion magazine publisher."

"Mother, will it help if I explain what gay is?" I didn't let her answer, "it mean's I'm not particularly interested in girls, therefore NOT interested in Ayumi!" I sighed, I was going to punch Kaoru after this. he gets to fool around with Haruhi outside while I'm in here saying these embarrassing things.

Mother fumed, "Hikaru you will go on the date!"

"No I won't."

"Shall I force Haruhi out of school? I don't want you interacting with her. You will obey my orders," she ordered my firmly.

But I was never one who played by the rules, "Really do you still not understand what gay is? A homo sexual? Homo... single gender? Not Haruhi? not Ayumi." Mentally I laughed, this was getting ridiculous.

"It's all the Hosts Club's fault, I will have a word with Yuzuru Suoh, it's his son's fault for putting all this nonsense in your head!" She slammed her hand on the desk, "Foreigners shouldn't be allowed in Ouran."

Okay she was going too far, it wasn't her place to insult the idiot king. It was Kaoru and I who was responsible for that, "Mother this has nothing to do with Tamaki Suoh. I am not interested, that is all." I sneak my hand towards the door handle.

The next words she said made my blood run cold.

"I forbid you to ever take part in Host Club activities again. Your brother also. Haruhi is never to enter a foot in our grounds until you agree to the marriage," she smiled, she knew she had hit something.

Well I inherited her attitude, I still had a few tricked up my sleeves too, "No host Club? Fine I'll just meet up with my friends not in the 3rd music room," I smirked, I had the advantage, "Not letting Haruhi come here? Well I just go to her house. Good day to you mother."

I had won.

"You regret this," with that, she jerked opened the door and slammed it closed upon her exit.

_Dang, what does she have planned?_

I groaned and also left after her. Let's just see what Kaoru has to say. I'll make sure to give him a extra hard punch.

**KAO POV**

My brother stomped into our room, I guess my idea didn't turn out so good.

I was presently sitting on our bed, wondering why Haruhi was so suddenly rushed away by maids and butlers.

"KAORU!!!" My brother shrieked before pouncing on top of me.

I laughed and hugged him, maybe he'd forget about this if I cheer him up.... right? He let his arms give out and he landed forcefully on my chest, making me lose breath. Then I landed his lips on mine. I was seeing stars. I NEEDED AIR!

I rolled myself so that our positions were switched, and I let myself pause and take in oxygen, "Hikarrrrru You. Are. Dead." I stared at him darkly... _on second thought, let's talk about it_, "It worked right?"

Hikaru gasped for air slightly so I rolled off him.

"Partially," he hesitated, "Well, the part of canceling the date with Ayumi, yes..." He sighed, "Mother forbade Haruhi coming over. Even worse, we cannot attend host club events."

I wanted to pound him. But everything was my idea. Forbidding Haruhi from coming over answered my old question.

"Hey... Hika... what if mother makes me marry Ayumi?" I had to ask the question nagging me.

I could see fear in my dear brother's eyes, "Well, let's just say you are asexual. Us being both gay... will cause problems. especially when we're not."

I knew I wasn't gay, that was true. But I wasn't sure I was 100% straight either. My brother and I...

Harbour feelings for each other. No, we didn't do anymore than kiss, but our souls were connected. How could anyone be closer than that? No one could break that bond. Or so I thought.

_I really thought...

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Please **Review** and this was supposed to be in my fic, **'Till Death Do Us Part' **but I decided to make it a whole different story! XO_


	2. I'm One Level

_This valentine is doomed  
The smell of blood has filled this room  
If I could do it all again  
I would change most every single thing_

**HIKA POV**

I grabbed Kaoru.

"I'm gay with Kaoru," I had to say something. That something happened to be the secret Kaoru and I had been keeping away from the public these last 2 decades. Also, it was time Kaoru took some responsibility. This might actually save the both of us.

My mother looked out raged, but It couldn't compare to my own anger.

Fine, she pairs me up with a random rich girl.

But was it really necessary to find some gay rich boy for me?

Okay, arrange something for me, acceptable.

But, now Kaoru was assigned to marry Ayumi and yes I am the awkward gay boy...

Kaoru whimpered under me, somehow, he had ended up in a headlock, in my distress. I unlocked my brother and stood him upright.

"I love Kaoru, and I will not marry some random heiress. I am not gay. I only love Kaoru," I smirked at my mother's shocked expression, "I suggest you leave us alone, or do you want a sample?"

My mother's angry face returned, "Hikaru Hitachiin, you will not play games like this. You and I both know you are faking." _Now that was the understatement of the year..._

I glanced at my nervous brother beside me, _time for a game..._I grabbed my twin and twirled him around until his back was inches from the ground, the only support being my hand.

"H-Hikaru!" he stuttered. Ah, just like the good ol' Host Club Days. Prefecto.

I plunged my tongue into his mouth.

I could feel my mother's eyes bulge. As did Kaoru's. We never did go as far as this.

Slowly, very slowly, I separated the two of us.

Standing upright again, I smirked at my mother.

And she thought,

We.

Were.

Joking.

Kaoru recovered quickly, if we were going to fight, we were going to have to be ready.

Kaoru did something I would have never expected.

He slapped me.

I watched in awe as my own lover headed out the office doors, treading on my feet along the way.

Okay, I will now punch myself. What did I do? Why did Kao do that? I definitely had to find out.

"You, better not arrange anything else," I growled menacingly at my mother, "Cancel it."

I headed to the door.

"Hikaru Hitachiin, you stay here," Mother's voice was firm, but I could tell she was still a bit surprised, "STAY HERE!"

Like I would heed her words, I walked out the door.

"You will regret this Hikaru, you will," My mother called from the room. I heard her pick up the phone.

Really... what will I regret? Does she think I'd rather marry away to a heiress and have a miserable life than be looked down upon by peers and love Kaoru?

I'd choose Kaoru any old day.

My actions wouldn't cause anything bad right? I mean how much worse can things get?

The answer is_: A whole lot worse._

**KAO POV**

I punched the pillow, imagining it to be Hikaru's face.

He was such a bastard! damn him!

"Dammit Hikaru!" I shouted at the pillow.

_Speak of the devil... _Seconds later, I heard the door slam closed, and then there was a click. Hikaru had locked it.

"Kaoru, what's wrong?" my older seemed distressed. He came to sit on the edge of the bed.

No duh, he had made things tumble to the ground, "You are," seeing his astounded face, I sat up, grabbed his collar and punched him, "You are the fucking problem!" I let go of his shirt and watched him fall to the floor.

Hikaru grunted in pain, "What the hell, Kao, Why?" He lifted himself off the floor and spit out some blood. I really wasn't as weak as I seemed.

"Oh you're the smartass, I bet you know," I rolled my eyes, at Hikaru's hurt look, "honestly, you are mental."

Fine... maybe I was swearing a bit much, even if were not in Host club. But Hikaru deserved it. Honestly, I had quite the similar attitude as Hikaru. I wasn't really a level nicer. That is called fine acting. REALLY fine. I was just... a level less berserk. I mean we were 21 now. Not childish teenagers.

My brother's eyes started watering, I was being cold wasn't I? I let my stare go soft, and my own eyes watered, "Hikaru, they are going to seperate us. Mother's going to seperate us. You told her we were in love! That's incest! not only that, mother wants a heir after us," I paused, "You understand."

Hika-chan slowly got up and hugged me, just like our childhood days. Just like when we were sheltered from the outside world with the four walls of our personal world, "Let's runaway."

My brother was so dumb, "Yes, let's run away, let's get caught by mother's personal investigators, we are friggin' rich and famous, ya think we'll get away?"

I hugged Hikaru back, "Let's just see what comes our way kay?"

Hikaru hugged me closer, "I will not let them separate us, I won't let go ever!"

_Let Go Hikaru, Leave me... we are going to get in trouble, _I grunted, there was not way in hell I would act like a distressed damsel, we weren't in the host club we are adults, therefore we need to take responsibilty of our actions, "It would have been a whole lot easier, if you just went on the stupid date. You could have married and you could have become like mother and father," Our parents weren't exactly like the loving couples in movies, they were more like business collaberates, "Aww man Hikaru."

Hikaru didn't let go of me, but loosened his grip a tad, "I'm not going into this half-assed relationship with this girl... Mother expects children. I am so not going to marry the gay guy and leaving you with the girl."

I sighed and relaxed into Hikaru.

There was no way Mother would let this go, but at least got now I can relax...


	3. Lost Hope, No Hope

Lol... I'm updating on my birthday... so please, **REVIEW **=P

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_I would let you..._

**KAO POV**

I was right, I was usually right. I used to think that was a good thing, but now, it is nothing but curse.

Hikaru was being dragged away from me by force right in front of my eyes!

"HIKARU!" I fought against the men holding me away from my brother.

I watched as my brother also struggled out of the grips, "KAORU!"

I knew this was going to happen, I knew it would most definitely happen. I was selfish and let Hikaru comfort me when we could have been planning a way to escape this ordeal. I let Hikaru protect me and I forgot about our problems. Mother did do something about our 'closeness' she planned on taking Hikaru away from me, we weren't informed on where. We just knew we were going to separated.

The first thing we did was lock ourselves in our room. We stayed in there for 3 days straight without food and water. I guess mother wanted us to become weak and then she hired some random men to take Hikaru away by force. The plan worked, I was extremely tired.

I felt a cloth cover my mouth and nose, it was chloroform, _damn... I can't fight anymore._

My vision got blurry and I felt entirely drained. Hikaru was going to get taken away!

I squinted and stretched my vision to the limit. Hikaru was chloroformed too. I watched as his limp form was carried off, away from me. There was no more use to fight, I let my mind become blank.

_Hikaru..._

_Hikaru..._

_HIKARU!!!_

**HIKA POV**

_I'm cold... so cold. I'm so cold without my Kaoru._

I opened my eyes. I felt like hell, my head was whirling and I wanted to puke. Was I in some kind of moving automobile? I smelled mold. Honestly, how could mother do something like this to a 21 year old? Kaoru and I were both old enough to move away, we were adults. Haruhi was wrong, we weren't rich bastards that had anything we wanted, anytime we wanted. We were just slaves to human production.

All I could see was darkness, boxes and a rusty wall. I tried to shift into another position, but it was useless, my hands were tied to some kind of pole. I couldn't shout for help because of a gag, all I could do was wait for someone to find me. After that, I could find a way to escape and reunite with Kaoru. Am I correct?

The ride felt like eternity. Every little bump made my hands rubbed against the thick ropes. They were raw by now, but I just keep waiting... waiting for light.

When the vehicle jerked to a stop, I panicked. Should I kick the first person that comes and get me? Should I glare daggers at them?

I heard a door slam and footsteps thumped on gravel. _Nearer... nearer..._ I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to be limp. I guess I should figure out my surroundings first.

Metal scratched against metal, it hurt my ears and light shown through my eyelids. A heavy form thumped the bottom of the metal transporter. I'm guessing i'm in a truck of some sort.

"Aww, the rich kid is still unconscious, damn spoilt kid, can't take any violence," A gruff voice insulted me.

Another voice spoke up, "Well this place'll knock some man into him, his mother's pretty scary, he was in some kind of forbidden love. Poor kid."

Ruff fingers untied my bounds and picked me up bridle style. I knew I could never take these men on, they were huge!

"Pass him here, I think we shall wake him... I think general doesn't want dead wait to show up, it's a favour to the kid," the second voice suggested. I had no idea what they were going to do.

Too late, I was passed to another buff man.

I waited...

He dumped a pail of ice cold water on me.

"SHIT!" I yelled, I just couldn't help it! It was fucking cold.

The two men laughed as I jumped to the ground, soaking wet and pissed. I glared at the rude people, I was right, they were strong, but that wasn't what surprised me. It was the fact that they were wearing army uniforms.

"I knew you weren't unconscious," the guy that had freed me growled, "Just fooling with ya."

I gave myself distance from the two strangers, my legs felt like putty, but I stayed upright, "Fine, fool with me when I get back home, I don't know who you people are, nor what you plan to do," I coughed, my throat hurt, "But I promise you will get money if you bring me back." My voice was growing hoarse with all this talking.

Funny, I was putting on my most demanding face, but still, the men looked amused, "Wow kid, you are pathetic!" Hands gripped my shoulders and wheeled me around to face a civilized area.

I gasped, it wasn't... I couldn't...

"Kid, welcome to the military."

Before I knew it, I was marched into a office in the middle of the military campsite. One office that made me uneasy, since there were framed photos of many deceased soldiers hanging on the wall.

I turned to sneak away, since the 'messengers' had left me to myself, but I was left face to face with a stern looking man. He was exactly like those cartoon generals, but much more real. I gasped unintentionally.

"Hello Mr. Hitachiin!" The spoke with a sharp voice, "You are our new Major - General."

I was amazed, I had done nothing, and now I was apparently a Major, I WAS a well educated man, and I knew Major - Generals were pretty high up on the military ranks, "What?"

The general sighed, "Your mother, is sending you here to punish you, for, ahem, your forbidden love, but she still wants to keep you alive, we are making you Major-general so you don't get killed, kid, she says when you get promoted to lieutenant she will allow you to got back, but you are to marry off," he seemed hesitant, "You are always to address me Major-general Brock. Now one of my subordinates will lead you to your room."

I let myself be lead to my room. I was a prisinor here dispite my 2nd star ranking. I was to send people to kill. I was to protect my country? For fucks sake, I couldn't even protect my heart.

There was nothing for me to do, but to put on my uniform. Mother was the leader of my life. I won't ever be able to see Kaoru the same again. Not because I didn't love him, but it's because I won't be able to.

I just sat on my bed the next few hours, wondering how dear Kaoru was. Was he missing me? Was he hating me?

I sighed, nothing could be worse than getting shipped off to the army... I guess.

After a few hours alone, somebody yanked open my tent-ish room, I kind of expected little privacy.

"Sir, Major-general Brock wants to inform you that your mother just contacted us. She says Hitachiin Kaoru has just run away. She says she will not look for him. That is all," the messenger left quickly.

I didn't react, I didn't need to. Kaoru had left me. He had lost hope in me. I felt it. All I had left to do now, was to break free from this prison.

The next few years of my life flashed by like a blur and before I knew it, I was going to be promoted to lieutenant at 26. Also, i was going to get married to Haruhi.

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Sorry if the story seems to go a little quickly, I just want it to match the lyrics. Remember, if I do not get at least 5 reviews I probably will NOT update soon =) ohh and go to my profile and **VOTE** for what next pairings I should do for my next story!


	4. Look At Us Now

_Kiss me  
Kill me  
Your kiss is torture  
But killing me would be too easy_

**HIKA POV**

I thought my life was content. I AM content. Even though I had no intention of forgetting about Kaoru, at least I didn't have to be forced into marriage with a random girl. Haruhi was the one I wanted as a substitute for Kaoru. She knew I loved Kaoru more than anything, and didn't mind being second in my heart. If it was any other, they would drive me crazy. I guess I loved Haruhi. For now.

But what I didn't know was, that things were going to get worse. I was now a married man. I was supposed to be the heir of the Hitachiin company. I wasn't now.

Mother never intended to hand me over the money and fame. She had wanted me punished then she threw me away. I was to only existed in a minor mansion and I would never be able to set foot in the main house. I wasn't dead because of my mother's vanity.

She was going to blackmail some poor boy to be her puppet when she got old. She would always be the puppeteer.

I stepped into my office, as lieutenant, I had many responsibilities. Many of which I never had to do. Mother wanted me to look good, since I was, after all, a Hitachiin; she had hired men behind the scenes to do my work. But that didn't mean I had nothing to think about. I was going to meet up with Kaoru somehow. I was going to save him.

My phone beeped, "Lieutenant Hitachiin, someone is here to see you, he had been waiting for over an hour. You have a meeting in 15 minutes though, do you want me to send him away?"

I flopped onto my leather chair. My room was like those antique German ones, full of dark wooden furniture and faded out globes and maps. Usually, nobody came to see me. They were afraid of my mother. My past host club friends were banished from seeing me in the mansion and would be forced away if they tried to enter the building here. I knew of no one else that would visit me, let alone even wait for an hour.

I pressed the secretory button and responded, "Send him in, delay my meeting."

"But, Sir, General Brock will be there, you-"

I interrupted the poor woman, had I been less hurt in the past, I would've felt sorry for her, but I found the whole army annoying so she was the one I bullied, "SEND HIM IN."

"Yes, sir, right now."

I waited for 5 minutes, _this is odd... the person isn't here yet..._

"Send him in Chantel," I told the secretary.

There was no response, but harsh breathing filled the speaker. _Funny, Chantel may be weak, but she always responses._

"Hikarrrru Hitachiiin," A low voice purred over the speaker. And it wasn't Chantel. I almost fell off my chair.

The voice continued, "Better get armed, I'll meet you on the roof. I know you want to see me. I mean, you loved me didn't you?"

My blood ran cold, I recognized this voice. It was so familiar, yet so distant. I seem like someone I knew, but faded away. I seemed like the definition of 'love' to me. I decided to go up there. Unarmed.

When I had arrived at the door I panted at a panicked pace. For one, I had ran up 5 flights of stairs and the other reason was because it was out of anticipation. I was scared. I was scared to find out the truth. What truth? I have no idea.

I placed my hand on the handle. I had never noticed it shaking. What if this was a assassin? Here to eliminate me? I almost laughed. I would have never minded if my life ended. It was exactly what I called enjoyable, and I was just a petty puppet of a lieutenant. If other countries wanted to invade, they would have to take out the general. Not me.

I used the rest of my strength to push open the door. The sun was laughing at me, blinding me.

The figure quite a distance away stood still. When me eyes adjusted, he slowly pulled down his hood.

"I killed her."

**KAO POV**

I could have laughed at the expression on my dear brother's face.

It looked like he was amazed and horrified. Well, I guess it was expected from my blunt brother. I was holding his dead secretary by her thick locks of brunette hair.

I had waited for Hikaru to get back to his office and when the boring secretary disconnected with Hikaru, I pulled down my hood and shot her with the gun I stole years before from mother. If she lived, she would've told people it was hikaru that had killed her. As if there were any bystanders. After, I told my darling brother to come up. To see how he had ruined me. To ruin him myself. That was the plan.

"Hello brother." I stated, as if it was everyday you see your twin murder someone. I almost smiled at the difference between us. Physical and Emotional. We once, were identical to the core. Now, we couldn't have been more different. My hair had grown a little and it was messy. His, was shorter than the past and well kept. His eyes were full of life and mine were dead. As dead as I felt. All in all, he had been having a better life than me. Me who has been living on the streets and stealing left over scraps of food from restaurants. I was naive then, I was just waiting for my dear brother to find me, to save me.

_Look at us now girl__s, look at the brotherly love scene now!_

Looking at him now, I knew I had made the right choice, I was right. I was gone from his heart now.

I watched as his expression turned from clueless to afraid, "K-Kaoru... D-Did Y-You."

I smiled in a submissive way and lifted the Secretary until she was level with my head, the bullet was lodged in her left cheek, "You know, she's pretty. Too bad she had to die," I dropped her and stepped on her body to get closer to Hikaru, "Too bad she was too close to you."

My brother tried to straighten up, I wasn't surprised he had calmed down. I knew he wasn't all for the killing, but he was, after all, in the army. He has seen and gotten over deaths.

He spoke, with a little more confidence, "Kaoru, please hand yourself over to the officials, after..." his face softened, "we can leave together. Leave this all behind."

My face, however, remained as my solid poker face, "We shall not. You do not know what I have gone through. Today, we will settle this once and for all. Today, one of us shall die," I stepped off the corpse and moved toward Hikaru like a predator hunting for prey, I repeated my desire, "One of us shall die."

I stalked even closer to my uniformed brother. He didn't budge, he wasn't impacted by me at all. I wasn't going to give up. I wanted him scared and feeling guilty, better yet, I wanted him dead, his death caused by my own bare hands.

"Kaoru, you're going crazy. Let's just all calm down and talk about it," he was trying his good big brother ways again, that only worked in the past, I wasn't going to let him hurt me again. I had left because I expected him to come after me. Now he was happily married to the woman of OUR dreams and successful in society. Even if he didn't get the Hitachiin company, he;d make more than enough to support Haruhi, himself and any other future family members. He was happy without me. I thought we were one, connected by blood. I guess I was wrong.

I reached out my hand and stroked Hikaru's face, with my other, I grouped for my gun. Quickly, I placed it to his forehead and cocked it, "Please, please die."

I pulled the trigger.

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Please? Review? Oh and I may be entering a singing contest to BECOME FAMOUS! so I may not update much. But still, please review, I'd apperciate it =)


	5. Is that Regret?

_Our tragedy  
Seems to be killing everything it sees  
Like death itself_

**KAO POV**

I dropped the gun. For a second there I hesitated. That second made me lose control of my aim. The bullet hit Hikaru's shoulder. He wasn't dead. I didn't fulfill my wish. I don't think I will be able to.

I slid to the ground. I felt like I was going to puke. I had fucking just shot my brother. He could have very well been dead. I stared at the body right in front of me. My unmoving brother. My love... the one that was in my past... present... and I thought, future.

I... I didn't want to do this. It was just that Hikaru left me. I ran away for him, so that we could meet up again. I suffered from starvation and got into fights. I got involved with gangs and drugs for a while. And when I ran out of money I went to borrow large sums. I started gambling and drinking. I lost even more money and people started threatening to kill me if I didn't repay them back. Of course, I didn't especially care. My like was well on it's way to ending.

My heart was going to stop. After I had been sent to the hospital from an overdose of weed, they doctor told me I only had 2 years and a half to live. That... was a year ago.

I had only had a year and a half left. The news of the handsome, young, rich, Hitachiin heir rising to the top was all over. Not only was it a surprise to society that a spoiled brat could become lieutenant and marry a commoner, it was also horrifying.

I watched as my older brother's life slowly left him. He was dying, but not dead. He was unconscious. No last words. No last motives. It wasn't epic like in the movies, it was gross. Crimson blood spread onto his navy uniform and it was seeping onto his white dress shirt. Blood was dripping out of his mouth too.

I laughed, nonetheless like a manic. I was so close to achieving my life's goal and I just couldn't do it. I was the world's worst sinner. The hag... Mother, had wanted this didn't she? She made Hikaru melt under her grasp. So that he would let me fall to hell. So that his life would mold into the perfect dream life. He was rich, successful and handsome. It was perfect like hell. Was love... even a factor?

The bloody puddle grew. I could almost touch it with my fingers. The metallic smell made me even dizzier. I wanted to go back to my dump if a house and drown myself in alcohol. I wanted to cut myself until my blood flowed, until it killed me. I wanted to do everything I thought I would never have done. I wanted to sin more. More and more. Until I was sent to the depths of hell.

I reached out and stroked Hikaru's face. Slowly, I leaned over and gave him a kiss. He was pale. Loss of blood? or maybe it was the betrayal from me. I guess I will never know. I left him.

I couldn't finish him off, so why even stay? I mean... why pain myself more...

The stairs seemed like eternity. Step by step. Elevators were too easily hacked. So they only had stairs in this building. I... traveled them until I met the exit door. Everything was fine. I'll just kill him later. I'll be ready then.

I pushed the door open and the sun blinded me. Mocking me.

_Hikaru, I think... I'm sorry._

**HIKA POV**

I wanted to scream. My shoulder ached and my muscles felt like they were cramped up for a year.

I struggled to open my eyes. Was I... In the hospital?

Yeah. I was wasn't I. Haruhi was holding my hand firmly and a doctor was checking some tubes in my arm. So Kaoru really did try and murder me.

I groaned, "W-water..."

My wife put a finger on my lips, "Dear, wait until the doctor finishes your checkup," She didn't really seem ecstatic that I just woke up. Maybe it was because we weren't exactly in love, "You feeling okay?" She smiled. For once it was a genuine one. It wasn't forced like our marriage. She was still my friend.

"Yea..." My airy voice cracked.

She sat back in her chair. I wasn't the one she loved, but I was one person she did care for. I knew she goes to see Tamaki in secret, but I let her. She really didn't deserve to be treated this way.

We fell silent until the doctor broke it, "Your injuries are healing fine. I think we can remove the IV later. Hm... In maybe a week you can check out," he moved to the door, "Don't be too hard on yourself now. I will come check later." He opened the door and closed it behind him as he left. I saw security guards as he went. _Sorry Haru..._

I sighed_, _"Water now?" I gasped.

"Sure," she pours some from a pitcher and into a glass, "You know how long you've been in the coma?" She slowly handed my the glass.

I grabbed it, I felt dry, so I gulped it all down, "Dunno."

"Half a year."

Water went up my nose and my shoulder felt like it was ripping apart when I jerked up, "WHAT?"

"Honestly, the doctor thought you'd wake up ages ago. You just didn't seem to get up. That's why we weren't surprised. They were positive you would," she sat solemnly, "But what happened up there?"

I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her everything, "I don't know, my head hurts," But I couldn't. I couldn't get Kaoru in trouble. I couldn't tell her that my own brother wanted me dead.

"Okay. I won't force it on you, tell me when you are ready. But Officials might come and question you," She was caring... But not loving, "Chantel died. They think you're the one who did it. The forensics proved that your DNA was on her. But you didn't kill her didn't you."

I trusted my fake wife. I trusted her as a friend, that is why I couldn't tell her the truth. I mean. I was in no danger. If Kaoru really wanted me dead, I'd already be dead. I've got to find out what he meant. I've got to get my Kaoru back, "Yes I never killed her."

I knew she believed me.

But I wasn't sure myself. Because I caused Kaoru to change like this?

_I miss the old you._

* * *

Please Review.


	6. Pain

_This valentine still looms_  
_In the darkest hour, the killing moon  
If I could do it all again_

**KAO POV**

"We're serious, we will kill you!"

"Do it," I coughed.

I guess the guys go scared. I was already beaten up like hell and now I was saying I wasn't scared to die.

But even if they were debt collectors, they weren't stupid. If I got killed, I wouldn't be able to return the money.

"We will give you a week, if you don't return the money by then, we will come back," the rough voice growled. I knew they were wimps they couldn't kill.

I coughed.

I heard footsteps and my assaulter ran off.

My body pounded with pain. Not because a muscular dude had just smashed me in my gut, but because my heart was getting worse. I was going to die, that is, if I take the medicine the doctor wanted me to have, but I couldn't even pay off my debts. Let alone buy the extremely expensive pills.

I struggled to get up. It was raining, I slipped and fell back onto the black garbage bags. Raindrops joined my tears of agony. Everything hurt. I struggled to get up again and leaned on the brick wall. Something was choking me. I coughed it out.

It was blood.

I was dying, and I am going to die. But I have to complete my mission.

I have to kill Hikaru. If I don't, I would never be able to rest in peace. I just want to do one last thing that is within my power. One. Last. Thing.

Before my very own death.

I let myself fall back down in the debris. I was too weak to walk anywhere and it wasn't like I had a home. I had nothing left. I went from being looked up upon by everyone, to a commoner with less status than Haruhi and now, to filthy, low-life nothing. If my body wasn't on fire, I'd laugh.

I hate myself. I hate myself for loving Hikaru. I hate myself for hating Hikaru. I hate myself because I'm not dead.

I tried to shift upwards to become as comfortable as you and get on trash bags. The ground was hard cement.

No one would help me because I had been dragged into a seldom used alley way. It was dirty, dark and it stank. Completely, ideal for beating the shit out of someone. Honestly, the way I am now, even if a person walked past, they would retch at the sight of me.

I coughed again, blood again.

I closed my ever wandering eyes. I was losing it. My mind, my body.

My initial plan was failing.

A meowing filled my ear, but I didn't open my eyes. They rain made everything cold. I didn't want to move. The cat nuzzled my cheek and snuggled across my chest. I felt tired, but that didn't stop my mind from thinking.

This place wasn't prone for stray cats. Anyways, wouldn't the kitty want to hide in a dry place? My chest wasn't exactly a place where you'd want to aviod the rain.

It started purring.

My throat felt funny.

I started having a coughing fit. Spitting the crimson fluid out of my throat.

The cat scampered off.

That...

was more like it.

The Kaoru with no home...

No family...

No friends...

No life...

No Hikaru...

**HIKA POV**

Aside from a dull ache in my shoulder, I felt fine. The very day after my 'awakening' I got released from the hospital.

But that couldn't change the fact that my brother w as a murderer. It scared me, but that made me want to see Kaoru even more. I made sure to give interviews to the public and tried to announce everything best I could.

Still, people suspected me for murdering my secretary. My fingerprints were all over her. _But that's because we have the same DNA._

I didn't deny nor did I admit to the fact that I killed her.

I told everything truthfully, but exchanged my brother for a unknown terrorist. I don't care if they suspect me or if they believe me. All I want is my Kaoru back.

I wanted Kaoru to figure out that I was alive and come back to me. I didn't care if he wanted to finish me off, or if he wanted us to reunite.

I cleared my head of these thoughts. I was going to meet someone. Someone that was going to be my new secretary.

The elevator door opened. My mother ordered for a elevator to be added into the building I worked in, no sense working me to death since she needed my exsistence.

I entered right into my office.

Then in hit me.

Literally, hit me on the side of my head.

I hit the wall after the man hit me and the world seemed to be spinning. Everything was unreal again.

The brunette man growled, "Hello Mr. Hitachiin, I am your new secretary from now forth."


	7. Friends?

**HIKA POV**

The man, my new secretary glared at me. He was older, he was more worn out. But he was as proud as before.

"Hi, Kyouya," I greeted my former high school associate, "How nice to see you."

The dark haired man backed away from me and leaned against my desk, though he looked tempted to smack me on the head again. He ran his fingers through his hair and smirked, "Nice to see you too," he sighed, "Almost nice, as in, if it was in different circumstances, but too bad I hate you now."

My mouth was dry, the world was crashing down, "K-Kyouya... why are you here?"

He laughed, never before had I thought Kyouya could have sounded so hollow, "Why, your mother," He spat at me, "forced me to, because I am the THRID Ootori son!" He ranted on, "I AM USELESS!" He glared at me harder than before.

"No, Kyouya, What?" I was confused, why would my mother do that? I mean we have MONEY we could control anyone, anytime. why choose a former friend? "I don't understand."

My senior went into his all too familiar emotionless facade, familiar except it was even more cold, " Hikaru, you don't know anything that is going on do you? You don't know anything happening outside of your office do you?"

Words played around in my head until something strung together, "No."

The former shadow king sighed and motioned for me to sit on the chair at my desk. I did.

"Hikaru, you know, your mother doesn't exactly care for her sons. You are here like a prisoner and Kaoru is out there," he pointed to the window, "and alone. He's been out and in our contact. As in Tamaki and myself. Hunny and Mori are out of the country, they couldn't stand the changes."

I interrupted him, "Excuse me? Changes? What's that got to do with them, they have nothing to do with us?"

"Them? What's with them and us?" Kyouya's glare softened, "We... are... were a family right? There is no them and us in a family..."

"Tamaki, has changed you," I couldn't help but smile at the thought of the King changing a statue, "But I still don't understand. If it hurt you guys so much, then why didn't you just leave with those two?"

"Tamaki and I, both loved Haruhi. When you were to marry her we did consider following Hunny and Mori," This was the very first time I saw Kyouya smile in thought, "Too bad we cared too much about you... three. I wanted to leave, but Tamaki kept me here. For the outside we could still see there was something wrong. Everything about you and Kaoru separating and you marrying Haruhi was wrong."

"So you came here and tried to go undercover and help us," I concluded.

"Wrong. I may have become more outwardly kind," Kyouya's glasses glinted, "but I am not foolish," he took a deep breath, "Mrs. Hitachiin, forced my father into forcing me to become your secretary. She wanted to punish the ones that 'ruined' her sons. I mean, what other way could she hurt me than humbling me to work under a boss? She couldn't get to Tamaki, because he is the only Suoh heir."

I was stunned. She didn't just not care for Kaoru and I, she hated everything that had to do with us. Fashion designer or not, she was cruel and horrendous. If the fact that we were her flesh and blood didn't get in the way, we'd be already killed and left in a ditch.

"So," Kyouya snapped, "That's why I hate you. Sorry for bringing you back to the good ol' days, but I've deicided, we will cut off all our ties. Fellow host, friends, whatever, Mr. Hitachiin."

He headed for the door.

"Wait, Kyoyua! Why... do you hate me?"

He kept his back to me, "Because you didn't save him." His voice was so low that I could barely hear, "He is hurt."

He left.

With me in the leather black chair.

**KYO POV**

I closed the door.

Honestly, I shouldn't have blamed the poor twin for my troubles. It was just that he seemed to be the start of it. But it also seems that he will be the one that will end it. I was that close. THAT close to taking over everything the Ootori family had. But now I was just where I started.

My friends, my family, my pride. Everything was cracked. But you know? You can always mend glass back up no matter how cracked it was. It could be saved... as long as it didn't break.

I just hope, my friend... will pull through.

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kay, SHORT, haha but still review, and I know I use a ton of incomplete sentences, but I like it that way. Twist of events? YUP!


	8. Emotionless

_I would let you_

**KAO POV**

I was a criminal...

I was a murderer...

I AM a sinner.

The world was spinning. After that night in the rain, I was probably deathly ill. But who cares? No one loves me anymore. I love no one no more. I was going to did anyways. I was going to die and then go to hell.

I continued walking like a alcohol addict and finally, tripped.

I landed on to the dirty pavement and almost took down a busy mother. She skirted away and pulled her pair of twins away.

Good... the further away people were, the less people I will harm.

I struggled back up again, I didn't understand why I was on a busy street. I didn't know how I ended up there, but no one cares. The road I walk will never have an end.

I started walking again. If I had still had any pride, I would have hid myself in a abandoned alleyway long ago. People were currently avoiding me like I was the dirtiest thing in the world. I disagree. I am the dirtiest thing that exists.

I made my way into a dark shop. It was small, it smelled. But it could save my life. Just because in it, lives my savior.

"Why hello Kaoru, back again are we?" A woman had appeared from around the corner and started stacking some boxes on top of each other, "Jake's in the back."

I staggered past her to the storage room door, "Thanks Linny."

"Wait," Linny growled in her gruff voice, "Don't do anything sudden like bursting in, he's experimenting," she turned back to her work, not even caring if I looked half dead. But that was to be expected, she was neither a friend nor foe. She didn't need to care. She didn't love me she didn't hate me. The world is a stranger.

I knocked on the moldy door lightly, "Hello?" I gasped, I wanted to close my eyes and rest for a moment, "It's Kaoru... Jake..." My breath ran out.

"Come in, kid!" A cheery, but scratchy voice called out, "Come in, I'm done."

I turned the door knob and pushed. The door swung open with a whine.

"Hey..." I said sleepily, "Mind if I stay here for one of two days?" Without asking, I let myself fall onto the couch.

The elderly man sitting at the other side of the room with random chemicals in his reach stood up, "Why, I won't mind at all!" He roared, "I've told you! Drop your revenge business and stay with us! Look at you!"

Jake came to sit next to me on his oddly coloured couch, "Look, you're burning up!" He put his cold hand up to my forehead, "Goodness! Kid, stay here for a few days! I'll get Linny to cook up some soup."

I waved his earnest hand away, "No, I don't want to be a bother... I'll be fine after a few hours and a hot shower," I tried to smiled, "Can you get me a gun though? I... have to do it... and I lost the other one somewhere."

"Child! You'll be a bother if you're dead on the streets! But I will not argue any further. Do whatever you like. Gun? I'll get you a gun when you aren't half dead," the kind man smiled, "I just wish you don't think everyone hates you."

"But you don't love me either right?" I sprawled my legs over the side of the armrest as Jake stood up, "You just help me because I keep your secret that you are experimenting with drugs and just getting rid of the evidence by giving it randomly out to teenager addicts." I smirked. Jake's appearance was innocent enough, but his past occupation had put him in hiding and now he is still in underground business.

"True, but you know I could just kill you," Jake sighed, "But I don't think you'll believe that I care enough about you to not take the easy route out. Okay, I've had enough," He glanced at the clock on the wall, "It's late and Linny and I have to do some errands. Stay as long as you'd like. The shower's on the top floor, if you've forgotten. There will be hot soup waiting for you when you awaken. Take if you like."

The kind man cleaned up and left me.

Soon, I felt drowsy.

"You see? I am alone!" I stared up the the ceiling and whispered to myself, "Hikaru, you will pay."

I closed my eyes. Even though I knew if I closed them, I may not be able to open them again.

**HIKA POV**

I sat in the office doing nothing specifically. Everyone already knew, I was nothing in the army department. I had no authority at all.

Kyouya... he hasn't spoken to me since I was assigned my secretary three days ago. Even though I had no where to go or anything to do, he seemed busy as hell.

The only places I was able to roam about without body guards were this building and my room in the Hitachiin main mansion.

I was just sitting there, when Kyouya knocked on the door. How I knew it was Kyouya? Well, he was the only one allowed to come into my office and I wouldn't doubt if he's the only person in this building. Outside... was another story.

"Come in!" I shouted. It was funny, we had the highest technology in the country in this building and Kyouya chose to knock instead of messaging me, "the door's never locked anyways."

I was right, it was Kyouya Ootori who opened the door.

"Hey man," I greeted, "Want to talk?"

My former upperclassman kept his lips pursed and kept on a serious face.

"No?" I guessed, "What then?"

I saw Kyouya breath deeply, maybe he wanted to hit me again. I braced myself.

"No, I'm not going to hit you!" Kyouya exclaimed when he saw my reaction, "Man, you're not going to believe this..."

I saw fear in his eyes, "What?" I don't know why, but a dull pain ached in my shoulder where Kaoru shot me, "Is... it Kao..."

Kyouya staggered towards one of the couches and sat, "He... his heart... Tamaki found a doctor that has information about Kaoru," He paused to let me understand these foreign words, "Kaoru will die. The doctor has no information of the whereabouts of your brother... but he told us that his assumption is wrong, Kaoru will die in 3 monthes. It a incurable cancer. His heart will stop."

I laughed, "You're kidding!" I grabbed the Ootori's shoulders, "TELL ME YOU'RE KIDDING! Bastard you can hate me however you'd like, but joke about my brother... I WILL KILL YOU!"

I grabbed a pen from the desk and threatened to plunge it into my former friend's eye.

"Pity... Such a pity," Kyouya said and closed his eyes, "You can't even understand when your brother actually needs you! I understand why he hates you so... do you? If you don't, I'll tell you. You are a pure bastard. Not only that, but you take over everything and push it aside, you can't understand the people close to you and you believe what you waht because you don't want to be hurt by the mere truth!"

I grabbed the taller man by the collar and jerked him up, "GO!" I pushed him towards the door, "LEAVE!"

Kyouya resisted, "Stop! I want you to understand!"

I let go of him and covered my ears with my hands, "SHUT UP!" I squeezed my eyes closed, "GO AWAY!"

Gently, Kyouya pried my hands away from my ears, "Listen... I do not hate you all that much and I certainly do not hate Kaoru. I want everything to become normal, please, just find him! I do not blame everything on you. Yes, you should be blamed for Kaoru hating you. You certainly be blamed for me being ripped away from my potential... But you aren't the one that took away the line between love and hate... And you are also the only one that can make things be all right."

_Right..._ it's my fault, but not..."How?" I didn't care that my voice had become hoarse, nor that I cared that my eyes had become tearful from Kyouya's speech.

"Let's wait for Tamaki to find out. Both of us, are prisoners."

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I am SOO sorry for not updating =) but now that I have, **PLZ REVIEW** ~~ Please and Thank yous!


	9. Telephone Booth

_Kiss me  
Kill me  
Your kiss is torture  
But killing me would be too easy_

**HIKA POV**

Tamaki had come through for once and I didn't know if it were a good think or not.

The blond stood in my office beside Kyouya. Even he was superior to me now. He had potential, he was free, "Hey," he said nervously, "Sorry I'm late. Traffic was horrid," he smiled.

Silence made the atmosphere heavy.

I haven't been in contact with the normal human society for such a long time, I think I had lost my ability to start a conversation, "Haruhi's fine."

Tamaki shifted uncomfortably and smiled, "I see..." he waited, we all did, "Can I, ugh, sit?" He gestured to the barely used couches.

"Yes, yes why of course..." I practically thrust both my Seniors into the love seat, "So..." I sat myself down on the seat across from them.

Tamaki handed me a file, I knew what it was, it was Kaoru's medical record.

The blond man didn't let go of the file, "You... should try and lighten up your guards," he smiled, "They gave me quite a hard time. It was as if he was trying to caution me, but then changed his mind so he tried to lighten me up with a bad joke.

"I'll try to," I couldn't smile, "I really will," I directed my gaze towards the ever glaring Kyouya and gulped.

He nodded and I flipped opened the file.

And I cried. Kaoru really was going to die.

He had lung cancer and it had already spread to his heart and liver by the time he was sent to the hospital. Somebody had dragged him in because he was half dying from an overdose of weed. He did weed because he wanted to get away from me... I was the worst older brother in the world. I was the worst lover.

My phone rang.

**KAO POV**

"Hello?" my brother's whining voice said.

I chuckled and I pretty much heard Hikaru freeze immediately.

"Kaoru?" he whispered, "Is that you? Where are you? Go see a doctor! Kaoru!" The panic in his voice was evident, "Kaoru!"

"Shut the fucking hell up and listen to me," I wanted to pound my forever clueless brother down into hell, "Bring half a million and meet me in the... the park where we used to hang out. Remember the time you fell from the tree?" All of the sudden, I wanted to recite all good times we had together as children, all the times we had gotten hurt... when we were together... Instead I hung up.

_Because I'd rather be dragged down to hell than fly into the never ending heavens._

_I'd rather disappear with the darkness than shine brightly in light._

Because I am unloved.

I touched my coat pocket. A slight bulge could be seen if you looked closely. It was my one and only possession that was still under my command... a gun.

I choked. I really didn't know what I wanted. If I wanted revenge... then there should be an aim. So I and be relieved after I succeeded. But... I have none. My rage is purely pointless. What I want? I don't know. My life was going to end. Even if I kill Hikaru... there is no merit. I will feel no more superior than I am now.

So why?

Do I hate Hikaru enough to pull him down to hell with me so I could love him again? Do I really want that?

I slid down the wall of the telephone booth. Tears welled up in my eyes. I didn't care if the bottom of the booth was caked with litter and dried dirt. I was tired…

"Hikaru... Oh Hikaru..." My heart suddenly felt as if a hand was squeezing it, "I'm sorry Hikaru... If... I don't try to kill you... I have no point to live anymore. Forgive me..."

My lungs felt like they closed up. My body hurt. For a moment I was paralyzed with discomfort. _Hikaru... help me... _

I didn't know how much time had passed while I was hurting, but when I opened my eyes it was dark and more importantly, three figures stood staring at me.

"Hey Kaoru... what's up?" the blond said quietly, "Long time no see eh?"

The dark haired man stood with a pitying look on his face, but remained silent.

But they were not the ones that frightened me, it was the last guy... he... was crying. Shedding tears like me. The one I hated despite the fact that he was the love of my life.

**TAMA POV**

My heart went out to Hikaru and Kaoru. They were hurting too much. It really was my fault. My fault that they meet once again.

When Kyouya switched the phone to speakerphone, I had recognized a slight rumble in the background before Kaoru hung up... it was the sound of construction. When I said that traffic was horrid, I wasn't lying. Construction was the reason it was slow. Construction is the reason we found Kaoru.

He looked horrible. His hair was still soft looking, but it didn't have the natural healthy sheen to it that the Hitachiins were known for. His eyes were sunken and dull, like he was half dead. He was dozens of pounds underweight and the way he clutched his chest. He really was going to pass away.

He seriously looked like he was in shock, staring at us, his large eyes way too big for his thin face.

"Kao…" Hikaru said as he exhaled, "Kaoru…" I looked from the shocked Kaoru to the frowning Kyouya and lastly the face of Hikaru.

I pulled open the door and stepped aside. If Kaoru wanted to come out he would. If he didn't… it was my place to force him. Normally, I would've pulled him out without hesitation… but like everyone says, I've grown up.

Kaoru didn't move. His black sweater was too ample for him and his jeans were worn and ripped. A slight sweat stench filled my nostrils.

Kaoru didn't move, still, his gaze never strayed from his brother.

Kyouya grunted as if he wanted this tension to dissolve.

Without warning, Hikaru dove into the telephone booth, "Oh Kaoru! I'm so sorry!"

He hung onto Kaoru's waist as if the weaker boy would fly away if he didn't.

I smiled. Maybe Kaoru would see how much Hikaru cared for him. Everything was just a misunderstanding. It's going to be okay.

I nudged Kyouya and grinned, "Let's go!" The Hitachiin twins would appreciate time alone. I pulled the stoic man away.

Let's just hope they… save themselves…

**KYO POV**

Tamaki lugged me away from the two reuniting brothers. I really didn't want to leave. I wanted to make sure they were okay. I guess high school traditions don't fade. Even after years of misfortune. I was still their 'mother'.

"Tamaki," I gasped, "Let's not leave." I tried to pull my arm away from the blond, "I'm worried."

Tamaki laughed, "Mommy, our children are grown ups now. We'll have to let go," He crushed his palm against the crosswalk button and turned to face me.

I could see he was frightened, yet hopeful at the same time.

"Tamaki…" I frowned myself, something wasn't adding up, "What are you doing?"

I twisted around to get a clear view of the telephone booth. What I saw made me freeze.

_Kaoru…_

_Hikaru…_

Kaoru was holding a gun… and Hikaru was the target.

"I'm sorry," Tamaki cried, "Hikaru made me promise him that I have to leave them be, no matter the circumstances," he smiled sadly, "I believe I have the responsibility keep my promise… S-sorry."

He brought the side of his hand to my neck, and I fell to the ground.

Darkness was threatening to cover my senses.

Even though we were yards away I heard Kaoru cock the gun.

_Don't… Kaoru… Don't…_

Tamaki gasped, lifted me off the ground and carried me across the street, bridle style.

A gunshot sounded and there was a loud thud, it sounded horribly like a body hitting the ground.

A wailing howl invaded the night and another shrill shot boomed.

With this, I gave up trying to struggle from Tamaki's arms. It was all too late.

_I wish we were kids again._

* * *

Guys... I just found out weed doesn't kill, or rather, it doesn't cause cancer -_- Really really sorry I didn't get my facts straight. Dumb humanities! For my sake, can you guys pretend that it does?

Um… and this story is almost done =) **review?**

**Vote **on my profile if you guys want me to update this story ^^


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